Cyber Safety: Communication
Key Component
October 16, 2008
Since the Internet has become
a daily necessity, many parents have become increasingly
wary of its impact. "When there's a lot of new
technology getting easier to use and access all the
time, it's natural to feel concerned," said Rob
Miller, New Canaan's Director of Information and Communication
Technologies.
Last
spring a 31-year-old Oklahoma man posing as a 17-year-old
was arrested near New Canaan High School after attempting
to meet a student on campus. The incident resulted
in a June memo from Superintendent David Abbey on
the importance of cyber safety.
"As
a community, we count on each other for protection
and care, especially when it comes to the safety of
our children," Abbey said in the statement. He
urged parents to take "an active role" in
discussing "the responsibilities and vulnerabilities
associated with Internet use."
Miller
said last spring's incident was an excellent example
of Internet dangers - as well as the how a good support
system can mitigate an unsafe situation. "The
student's friends approached school authorities about
what was happening," Miller said. "Everyone
worked together."
Deputy
Superintendent Mary Kolek said New Canaan parents
were historically "proactive" in their children's
schools. Basic cyber safety tenets, such as restricting
the release of personal information and refraining
from chatting with strangers online, are integrated
into computer class curriculum beginning in elementary
school. "We keep our content simple and age appropriate,"
Kolek said.
In situations
of cyber-conflict, she continued, families are brought
in to discuss the situation. "We take concerns
seriously and take action accordingly," Kolek
said. Documented evidence, such as an instant messaging
correspondence, is helpful to illustrate the scope
and nature of the situation.
Youth
Services Director Tony Phillips said cyber-bullying
was a lot like teasing on the playground - only that
playground is now cyberspace. The virtual nature of
the online medium, he said, can make users more aggressive
than they would be face-to-face, making real-time
consequences potentially more severe.
Last
spring's incident, he said, was a textbook example.
Additionally, the emergence of social networking sites
like Facebook, MySpace and more recently Twitter,
allow users to be extremely self-revealing. "The
tween and teen years are a time of self-discovery,"
he said.
Facebook
and MySpace allow users to share their hometown, current
residence, school, interests and hobbies. "These
sites can allow teens to be exactly who they are,
or create an image of who they would like to be,"
Phillips said. "It can be a source of validation."
He encouraged parents to create their own profiles
to share the online experience with their children.
"There
are a lot of safety features allowing users to set
their profiles to private and limit the amount of
personal information they reveal," he said. "By
making their own profiles, parents can better understand
how the sites work." Further, he added, parents
can advise their children on the dangers of risky
online behaviors like posting suggestive pictures.
Miller
agreed. A predominant theme of the family cyber-safety
workshop he hosted last month was the use of open
communication in lieu of restriction. "Technology
has become an intrinsic facet of everyday modern life,"
he said. "Banning these tools and resources can
have the opposite effect from what parents are looking
to accomplish."
He strongly
recommends keeping computers in open spaces like the
living room, even for older teens. "Obviously,
this can be more challenging as kids get older,"
Miller said. "But it creates an element of trust.
There's nothing to hide."
The building
of trust is vital as children are allowed cell phones,
virtually all of which now come with cameras and text
messaging. "This an ongoing challenge,"
Miller said. While younger children can be given phones
with preset numbers and numerous features restricting
online use, older children are apt to use their cell
phones as part of daily life. Suddenly parents monitoring
PCs in the kitchen can't be privy to the moment their
child receives an inappropriate text at school.
A growing
trend is relationship abuse through technology. A
2007 survey of more than 1,000 teens on Internet use
sponsored by Teenage Research Unlimited (TRU) found
a disturbing disconnect between what teens were experiencing
and what they were willing to tell their parents.
Nearly one out of three teens reported their partner
had texted them 10, 20 or 30 times an hour to find
out what they were doing, who they were with or where
they were.
A quarter
revealed they had been called names, harassed or put
down by their partner through texting. One in five
said they had been asked through texts or the Internet
to engage in sexual activity when they did not want
to. Nearly one in five also said their partner had
used a cell phone or the Internet to spread rumors
about them.
Miller
advised parents to review cell phone bills carefully.
"Parents should know who is contacting their
children and how often," he said. Many carriers
provide text messaging blocks.
"The key is not turning away from the technology
itself, but using it wisely," he said. Miller
is currently obtaining his Doctoral of Education (EdD)
from Northcentral University, an accredited online
university based in Prescott Valley, Ariz. The basis
of his thesis is integrating responsible Internet
use in the classroom, including even social networking
sites.
"There are a lot of
social sites directed more and more toward objectives
like social justice," he said. Such sites, like
TakingItGlobal.org, and even Facebook, allow users
to raise interest and money in support of various
social and political causes. "We need to work
with technology and learn from it together,"
he said.
Cyber
Safety: Communication Key Component
